March 9, 2018 at 2:58 pm #1682HeatherGrayParticipant
Hello! I wanted to share what’s stood out for me this week. I have my son every other week, and this is a busy week with him.
Since I made the declaration on the call Tuesday, and have been reinforcing it, I haven’t had anxiety about any parent time evaluation or anything else.
The only yucky thing that came up, was when I went into a store and witnessed a woman in her frustration / anger. I immediately felt a twinge of fear myself, because somewhere in me, defaults to believing others’ anger is personal toward me, that I am responsible for it. It’s the lynchpin in how I submitted to ex husband, since I didn’t know to be aware of, question, or release that belief before. I allowed myself to experience that with compassion, noted to myself that her anger is not about me, and made a note of it in my journal.
I tried out SJ’s light sphere last night. Perhaps it’s related to dreaming so much and waking up so many times?
Important shifts this week. I realized caffeinated coffee is a total no-no for me. It’s not something I could drink every day, but I like the taste on occasion. Well, I noticed the pattern that I get very angry at the end of the day after less than one cup. I treated myself to some of those roasted non-coffee alternative drinks.
I also noticed more strongly, foods that lead to blood sugar crashes, and have been giving myself less of a roller coaster with food, with many more fruits and vegetables.
A big thing is in how ex husband Mike reacted to me this week. I had mentioned something to my son’s therapist about how Sydney (his wife, stepmom to my son) had caused a lot of trouble since she came into the picture, and therapist has been able to witness that because she’s copied on e-mails. she didn’t respond to me (email) but I noticed that Mike is now e-mailing me directly more instead of having Sydney e-mail me for him. Instead of being reactive and hardly trying to work out communication problems between us, this week he said things like “that doesn’t work for me” and made alternative suggestions (like I’d expect normal people to do!). It looks like he’s learned some things. I contributed in this direction with inner decisions, speaking certain things out loud to nobody, moving my own energy, and respectfully communicating things to him in the past, but now it looks like there might be results.
I also was clear about the terms in which Mike could take our son to the track and practice bike riding with the new clips and shoes on tuesday (including healthy snack and water), and I was also reasonable when Mike asked for modifications. From my view, it went very well.
Another big thing is about the bathroom in this duplex I’ve been renting. Last year in March, it dawned on me that the bathroom floor likely had mold under it and connected it with the smells in the place. I told my landlady (who admitted it happened when she lived here), wrote her letters about it, etc. Later in the year, she still hadn’t done anything about it, and I called her and spoke bluntly to her about how there is mold in here when she was in complete denial. I investigated options with attorneys and concluded that I needed to focus on moving out, because forcing her to fix it would likely lead to me getting evicted. I felt I should back off and stop beating a dead horse.
Lo and behold, suddenly she called me last week to set up getting the floor fixed. She was still in denial, called it “replacing the tile” and thought she could get all 4 units done in 1 day!. I just sat back feeling fully calm and confident and smiled. Sure enough, 3 of the units had rot, including mine, and of course this is more complicated and costly than she thought. Today the people are scheduled to come again and fix the floor (came on Tuesday and started on mine, then realized the problems and had to stop)…we’ll see how that goes. I didn’t say “I told you so,” I just smiled when she explained the situation to me. It would be nice if I could just get out of here very soon, but it’s nice knowing we won’t be breathing the mold anymore soon.
Lots of positive things!March 9, 2018 at 10:09 pm #1684SuzannaKeymaster
LOADS of positive things I’d say! Thank you so much for sharing!
And of course your mindset is creating the foundation for how others show up in your life.
<3March 24, 2018 at 5:55 am #1743KatieRoseParticipant
Thank you for sharing Heather! I can relate to the taking on other people’s emotions as my fault or my problem. I am also noticing that I have to watch it with the caffeine!
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